"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy." 1 Peter 1:8
Jared Sandeen was one of John's first and closest friends in Southern Oregon. The two met on one of John's favorite run's, Mill Creek located on the North Fork of the Rogue River in Oregon. I remember John calling me that evening and telling me about his new friend Jared. Not only was Jared a kayaker, but he was also a mountain biker, lived in Grants Pass, was really friendly and really laid back. I could tell John liked Jared and wanted to get to know him more. The two quickly became paddling and biking friends.
The first time I met Jared was a chilly morning in October when John talked me into going with him, Jared and "the kids," (Jon and Hunter) to kayak the Upper Klamath river in Northern California. Needless to say I did not make a great first impression on our new paddling friends and ended taking the roughest swim I've ever had down the longest and hardest rapid on the river leaving me with some epic bruises at the end of the day. I developed what John called a "paddling block" after this swim and took some time off from paddling harder rivers to get my mental game back together. John continued to paddle with Jared and Hunter on quite a few rivers, always returning with a smile on his face.
We spent time with Jared both on and off the trails and rivers, enjoying dinners together on a regular basis. Jared is the reason I met my dear friend, Lisa Byers and found a female companion to help push me back into kayaking. Jared always made John and I feel so welcome in Grants Pass, and in my opinion, made John's 6 month's in Southern Oregon so adventurous and fun. The two of them were very much alike when it came to their need for the outdoors, adventures, and epic kayaking runs. I am so glad John found Jared.
Jared Sandeen was John's last boating companion, the last voice he heard, and the last smile he saw before disappearing behind that boulder. Jared was John's last person. It's crazy the thoughts that run through your head when you are told that your husband is dead. Thoughts that go beyond the gut wrenching reality that this is permanent and I have no choice in the matter. I remember when they told me that John was gone, I thought of Jared. I thought about the last 24 hours that we had been through from the time the two put on the river until that moment of this terrible reality, and my heart wept for Jared. Jared was John's last person, and I knew in that moment that this would be a question that pondered Jared's heart into old age, "why?".
I think about the 48 hours leading up to John's death. How he canceled his plans all day saturday and spent the entire day with me, how he made a point to speak with his parents, how he played music, put together our reading room. I remember that he somehow got cell service on the way to the Smith and had about 15 seconds to speak with Joseph Hatcher (another good friend in Oregon). Where he got service, I've never seen anyone get service, yet he had 15 seconds. Why was it Jared that was with him?
Jared just spent a week on the east coast visiting me. This was his first time to the east, and his first glimpse at the beautiful fall colors spreading all over the Appalachians. Jared came to see me, meet and spend time with John's closest friends and adventure into the places that John loved. He rode John's Santa Cruz mountain bike over multiple cross-country trails in West Virginia, kayaked the Upper Yough, the New and Gauley Rivers and hiked some beautiful trails throughout the state. Jared spent a lot of time talking to me and John's friends about John's death, and a lot of time listening to us about who John was. Jared and I also spent time each morning sharing scripture that speaks to us, and talked a lot about God's love and how he has moved us through this terrible loss. We spent time crying together, but more importantly, laughing a lot together. The thing that struck me the most about Jared's time on the east coast, is that he came here to listen and get to know my husband and who he was, what he meant to people, and how he lived.
As I drove back to Fayetteville after dropping Jared off at the airport, tears streamed down my face as I thought about what he had just done. I thought to myself that that is admirable. It is a genuine tribute to John and a testament of God's love for Jared and John.
People ask questions, all kinds of questions. Do I blame Jared? Am I angry with him for kayaking with John that day? Is Jared reckless? I only have one answer to all of these questions that people have asked me. "No." Jared is one of my heros and I love Jared for the friendship he gave John and for helping make his 6 months in Oregon one epic adventure.
Jared could have disappeared, repressed what happened on March 9th and pushed everyone away. I think many people would if this happened to them, and I can't say that I would blame them. Jared was John's last person on March 9th. March 10th, Jared had to rescue John and carry his body out of the gorge, and say good bye to his friend. Jared has chosen just the opposite of forgetting what happened. He continues to seek John even after he is gone and learn more and more about the man John was and those that loved him dearly. He carries John's ashes down rivers, rides in the rain as a tribute to John, and has not left my side since those 24 hours of hell on March 9th.
Jared walks with "the light" that I spoke about a few weeks ago. I know it. I can feel it whenever I am around him and it reminds me that John is OK.
I will always love Jared not only for being John's friend, but for his bravery during those 24 hours, and for continuing to honor John and know who he was. That to me is beautiful, and a true testament of God's love. His smile is huge and the light he carries in him is infectious. Thank you Jared for loving John and for being his last person. What a great reunion you two will have one day, where your adventures together will continue.
The first time I met Jared was a chilly morning in October when John talked me into going with him, Jared and "the kids," (Jon and Hunter) to kayak the Upper Klamath river in Northern California. Needless to say I did not make a great first impression on our new paddling friends and ended taking the roughest swim I've ever had down the longest and hardest rapid on the river leaving me with some epic bruises at the end of the day. I developed what John called a "paddling block" after this swim and took some time off from paddling harder rivers to get my mental game back together. John continued to paddle with Jared and Hunter on quite a few rivers, always returning with a smile on his face.
We spent time with Jared both on and off the trails and rivers, enjoying dinners together on a regular basis. Jared is the reason I met my dear friend, Lisa Byers and found a female companion to help push me back into kayaking. Jared always made John and I feel so welcome in Grants Pass, and in my opinion, made John's 6 month's in Southern Oregon so adventurous and fun. The two of them were very much alike when it came to their need for the outdoors, adventures, and epic kayaking runs. I am so glad John found Jared.
Jared Sandeen was John's last boating companion, the last voice he heard, and the last smile he saw before disappearing behind that boulder. Jared was John's last person. It's crazy the thoughts that run through your head when you are told that your husband is dead. Thoughts that go beyond the gut wrenching reality that this is permanent and I have no choice in the matter. I remember when they told me that John was gone, I thought of Jared. I thought about the last 24 hours that we had been through from the time the two put on the river until that moment of this terrible reality, and my heart wept for Jared. Jared was John's last person, and I knew in that moment that this would be a question that pondered Jared's heart into old age, "why?".
I think about the 48 hours leading up to John's death. How he canceled his plans all day saturday and spent the entire day with me, how he made a point to speak with his parents, how he played music, put together our reading room. I remember that he somehow got cell service on the way to the Smith and had about 15 seconds to speak with Joseph Hatcher (another good friend in Oregon). Where he got service, I've never seen anyone get service, yet he had 15 seconds. Why was it Jared that was with him?
Jared just spent a week on the east coast visiting me. This was his first time to the east, and his first glimpse at the beautiful fall colors spreading all over the Appalachians. Jared came to see me, meet and spend time with John's closest friends and adventure into the places that John loved. He rode John's Santa Cruz mountain bike over multiple cross-country trails in West Virginia, kayaked the Upper Yough, the New and Gauley Rivers and hiked some beautiful trails throughout the state. Jared spent a lot of time talking to me and John's friends about John's death, and a lot of time listening to us about who John was. Jared and I also spent time each morning sharing scripture that speaks to us, and talked a lot about God's love and how he has moved us through this terrible loss. We spent time crying together, but more importantly, laughing a lot together. The thing that struck me the most about Jared's time on the east coast, is that he came here to listen and get to know my husband and who he was, what he meant to people, and how he lived.
As I drove back to Fayetteville after dropping Jared off at the airport, tears streamed down my face as I thought about what he had just done. I thought to myself that that is admirable. It is a genuine tribute to John and a testament of God's love for Jared and John.
People ask questions, all kinds of questions. Do I blame Jared? Am I angry with him for kayaking with John that day? Is Jared reckless? I only have one answer to all of these questions that people have asked me. "No." Jared is one of my heros and I love Jared for the friendship he gave John and for helping make his 6 months in Oregon one epic adventure.
Jared could have disappeared, repressed what happened on March 9th and pushed everyone away. I think many people would if this happened to them, and I can't say that I would blame them. Jared was John's last person on March 9th. March 10th, Jared had to rescue John and carry his body out of the gorge, and say good bye to his friend. Jared has chosen just the opposite of forgetting what happened. He continues to seek John even after he is gone and learn more and more about the man John was and those that loved him dearly. He carries John's ashes down rivers, rides in the rain as a tribute to John, and has not left my side since those 24 hours of hell on March 9th.
Jared walks with "the light" that I spoke about a few weeks ago. I know it. I can feel it whenever I am around him and it reminds me that John is OK.
I will always love Jared not only for being John's friend, but for his bravery during those 24 hours, and for continuing to honor John and know who he was. That to me is beautiful, and a true testament of God's love. His smile is huge and the light he carries in him is infectious. Thank you Jared for loving John and for being his last person. What a great reunion you two will have one day, where your adventures together will continue.
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