"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." John 1:5
I am reading a book right now called "Flight to Heaven," written by a man named Captain Dale Black. The book is about a pilot that goes down in a terrible plane crash and ends up being the only survivor of three individuals. During his time in the ER, Dale finds himself suspended above the operating room and watching the medical team examine him, totally detached from his body. He experiences what he believes to be a glimpse at the after life. There is a chapter in the book called "Celestial Perfection," that I have read quite a few times. I read a few paragraphs to my dear friend Melissa while she was visiting and had a hard time getting through them without crying because I think Dale's experience is incredible, and all I can do when I read this is picture John. I thought I would share.
"The flowers in heaven fascinated me. Again, a delightful and delicate balance between diversity and unity. Each was unique. All were one, and they were beautiful to behold. Each petal and leaf illuminated with that glorious light and added just the right splashes of color to the velvety expanse of green grass. The grass, the sky, the walls, the houses, everything was more beautiful than I ever dreamed anything could be. Even the colors. They were richer, deeper, more luminescent than any colors I have ever seen in the farthest reaches of earth or in the most fantastic of dreams. They were so vibrant they pulsated with life. Each and every color, no matter how varied, took its color from the glistening whiteness that permeated heaven. If millions of jewels had been gathered into one place and the brightest sunlight shone through them, it wouldn't begin to describe the colors I saw. Heaven was filled with a rainbow of hues and provided me with a sensory feast.
My eyes were next drawn to a river that stretched from the gathering area in the middle of the city to the wall. It flowed toward the wall and seemed to end there. The river was perfectly clear with a bluish-white hue. The light didn't shine on the water but mysteriously shone within it somehow. The entrance through the thick wall was breath taking. The opening seemed filled with light that was the purest of white, yet it seemed to have countless hues that changed with even my slightest movement. I was filled with excited anticipation of entering that beautiful gate. I was immersed in music, in light, and in love.
No one was recognized by the physical or social distinctions that we recognize on earth. All were recognized by their spirit, the essence of who they were. Everyone and everything was full of pure life and was connected to the light somehow, and everything that was connected led to God. Part of the joy I was experiencing was not only the presence of everything wonderful but the absence of everything terrible. There was no strife, no competition, no betrayal, no deception, no lies no murders, no unfaithfulness, no disloyalty, nothing contrary to the light and life and love.
Vibrant life permeated everything. All these weren't just around me, they were inside me. And it was wonderful, more wonderful than anything I had ever experienced. It felt as if I belonged there. I didn't want to leave. Ever. It was as if this was the place I had been searching all my life to find, and now I'd found it. The best unity I have ever felt on earth did not compare with the exhilarating oneness that I experienced with my spiritual family in heaven. This love...God's love, was transforming. To experience something so sacred, so profound as the boundless love of God was the most thrilling part of heaven. It satisfied a longing in the deepest part of me. I felt so special, you can't believe how special. After all, all this was for me. Everyone was there for me.
I had no idea what gift I was about to receive, but the anticipation on the faces of the people let me know that it was something extraordinary. I felt like a kid again, like that fifth-grade kid who loved God. Like that kid who used to look forward to Christmas like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't wait to open the gifts that waited for me under the tree. And I couldn't wait for the gift that waited for me now. The music continued, such beautiful music, and I became even more excited. It swelled and with it so did my anticipation." Captain Dale Black
I believe this is a beautiful testimony to what awaits us after this life. I believe that John has an understanding of the universe that I can't even begin to comprehend while I am here, I can only believe it to be true. I've been asked a lot of questions about my beliefs since losing John. Am I a christian? Does the God I worship condemn people to burn in hell? Is the bible to be believed word for word? I've had people even go as far as asking me if John accepted Jesus Christ before he died.
Here is what I believe.
I believe that John showed me unconditional love and faithfulness every day that we were together. I felt radiated in love when I was with him. I believe that John had a much better understanding of what life is about than I did. This is why he wasn't attached to meaningless things and why taking advantage of every moment given to him was so important. I believe that the experience of hell is merely earth itself. Hate, greed, abandonment, sadness, sickness, loss, rage, pain. We see this everyday. Just watch the news for 5 minutes. I believe that those moments of joy and happiness that we do find here on earth are a small glimpse of what is to come. I believe that God showed his love to me through John everyday that we were together. Most importantly, I believe that God loves John dearly.
Here on earth, I go to the woods to find John. I look for him among the trees that create a safe haven for me as I walk and bike the trails, and the rays of sunlight that beam through the branches and warm my skin. I seek answers when I am there, a better understanding, a deeper meditation where I can tap into him and pour out my heart to God. In those silent walks and rides, I listen for him and search for that light. I always leave the woods more calm, more at peace, with a better appreciation and respect for my creator, grateful for our time together among the trees.
At the end of my life, I hope to tell God about what I've done with my life, and how I have loved. To me, that is all that matters. I know John had incredible answers to both of these questions, better answers than I do. I believe that all religions or non-religions are important because each belief gives us teaching, guidance and a focus on living a purposeful life. We all have the ability to love ourselves and give love to others . To me, that is where the God I love can be found and where I can feel John.
I believe this light that Dale Black talks about is within all of us and at the center of that light is unconditional love. I think of John now completely beaming in this light with a huge smile and complete understanding. John always wanted to live in places where he felt inspired everyday by the nature that surrounded him. It makes me smile to think of the inspiration he must feel now, and the hope that I'll get to experience this with him someday.
If what Dale Black experienced is true and I believe it to be, I can only look forward to this next life with anticipation and excitement. I believe we all can. For now though, I hope to find those small glimpses of heaven here on earth, reminding me of what is to come.
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