The last 72 hours, I have kept my three-year old home, and fully committed to getting him potty-trained. I've been preparing for this time for months, rescheduled the time-off out of dread, read all the books, talked to multiple parents and came up with my whole plan of execution. As a CEO for a healthcare company here in West Virginia, a big part of my job is managing execution strategies, and managing people. I figured this task would be pretty straightforward after doing my homework. Leif would be "my employee" and I would hold him accountable, give him the tools and resources he needed to be successful, and manage the change and overall positive outcome to a life of no diapers. I found out on day one that Leif had other plans called "Screw You Mom!"
It's Friday night, we've been at this task for the last 72 hours, and we are both EXHAUSTED. I have not been this tired since Leif was a newborn, or Tredan was 5. The end of the day feels like I've run a marathon, but it's one of the best exhaustions I have felt in a long time. Over the last few years, many times, I have had to keep one of the boys or even multiple boys home because of sickness. It was never ideal, and often annoying to be honest, but I was always able to somewhat keep working and staying locked into daily responsibilities. Potty training a self-determined 3-year old only works if you drop the phone, shut down the lap top and fully engage, so I found.
Every book in the world told me to put the phone down, put the computer away, and do nothing but play with my kid. I remember reading all of that and thinking, "sure, but I'll still have my lap top up and I'll still be working through this." I was wrong. It was in those moments of zero distraction, where I learned all of his little cues, and had to become his biggest cheerleader. I had two mess-ups on day one, where I decided to check work messages and emails, and Leif returned that distraction with taking a huge dump in his underwear and informing me of this mishap as I was glaring at my phone. He needed me in that moment to catch his cue and I was staring at a screen. I felt like I had let him down while asking him to accomplish what feels like the impossible.
I started stating "We can do hard things Leif." That became our entire mantra for the last 3 days and will continue onward as he gets better and better at this. On day one, my sweet determined boy marched straight to his room after he had been pantless for about 15 minutes, threw a diaper at my head and demanded that I put one on him. When that one did not go on, more diapers came flying. Normally, this would have frustrated me. I looked at the tears streaming down his face and realized, this task I've asked him to accomplish, this goal, is INSANE. My child has been in a diaper, the only thing he has known as a toilet for the last 3 years. Suddenly, on a day he gets to stay home with mommy, I've told him "oh by the way, no more diapers, today we are potty training and you're going to be naked from the waste down for the next 72 hours, learn muscle control and how to hold it and get to the potty, lets do this!"
I calmly walked over to him and picked him up and hugged him tightly to my chest while he sobbed. I told him how proud I was of him, how strong and smart he is, and that he can do this. I told him I loved him so so much and I will be here every minute as his biggest cheerleader as he accomplishes this very hard goal. No more distractions.
Over the last 3 days, Leif and I have had multiple dance parties, super hero battles, played basketball, baseball, jumped off a couch diving board, wrestled, read books, watched avenger shows, read about where poop goes, built train sets, raced super hero cars, and had an epic battle between Thor (me) and Captain America (him). Today we took our first adventure into town diaper free to the playground where Leif happily peed on a tree and on me, but never the less, NOT in his pants! He took his first car ride without a diaper on and stayed totally dry.
At the end of each day, Leif is emotional and exhausted. He has been working so so hard to accomplish a world of no more diapers. I am so proud of him. He's now going to the potty, totally unprompted. We're not 100%, but what this little determined 3 year old has done in 3 short days is amazing to me.
I'm also slightly embarrassed and more so sad, that it took the need for potty training to get me to put every device away and fully engage with my kid. It was a reality check that while 3 is hard, its completely fleeting. There will come a time where I'll remember holding my little boy so close and dancing in the living room and what I would give to blink myself back to that time. I'll be sad when this time comes to an end and he heads back to daycare on Monday, but I'm so grateful for the experience with him, even if it felt like a marathon, even if my sweet boy is so tired, for he gained a new level of independence this week that I know he's proud of. I could not be more proud!
So to Leif, my 3-year old Superhero, I am so proud of you and in awe of your determination, your resilience and your ability to continue to giggle and dance through life's biggest challenges. Love you buddy.
